Homeschool Crew Review~ Sex By Design from Abby Ludvigson

As the kids have gotten older, I knew we would have to eventually have the dreaded talk. Why does "the talk" always seem so hard? I had no idea where to start! Maybe it gets easier the more times you do it but I have to admit the first time is NOT! I was thrilled when we were chosen to review Sex by Design from Abby Ludvigson.


First off let me tell you that this is not a normal "sex education" course. It's a course that focuses on the more important aspects of understanding purity, intimacy, and God's plan for a sacramental marriage. This is not a course that is going to go into detail instruction of "sex." If that's the type of course you're looking for than you'll have to keep looking. This course focuses on the heart and soul of our children. Abby does a wonderful job getting across God's plan for intimacy and marriage. 
This program is a DVD and workbook program. For this review, we received a physical copy of the Parent Guide book and a Student Workbook. Instead of the DVD'S, we received an email with links to the videos that go along with each chapter. In addition to these resources, we were give access to some wonderful online resources!
Each video helps parents talk to their children about purity, what it means, and we can apply it to different areas.  The course is broken up into 7 chapters or sections. 
Chapter 1~ Plan Ahead: Living in a Sex Saturated World Chapter 2~ Counting the Cost: Every Decision has a Price Tag Chapter 3~ Dating: Doing Relationships God's Way Chapter 4~ Sex: God's Purpose and Plan Chapter 5: Modesty: God Cares What I Wear Chapter 6~ Pornography: Its Deception and and Steps to Get Out and Stay Out Chapter 7~ Secondary Virginity: Running Back to God I decided to use this program with both of my children. Michael is almost 14, while Therese is 12. We've had a few talks about sex in the past, but I would still considered my kids very sheltered with what they truly know. We have limited what they have been exposed to. We have always been honest with them and have answered any questions they have had. Talking about purity and following God's plan is very important to us as a family.
So How Did We Use Sex By Design from Abby Ludvigson? We watched the videos together.  I did watch the parent video without them. This helped me know what to expect from the curriculum.  So far we have viewed the first two videos. The first video deals with some prep work. Abby suggested having the kids create a purity contract with themselves. She even has links to online resources for the kids to print out. She also suggest the kids to get a purity ring. I suggested a chain with a saint medal for Michael since I knew he wouldn't want to wear a ring. A braided bracelet would work well too. I loved her suggestion of keeping a journal for your future spouse. I suggested to both of my kids to write down a list of qualities that they would like their spouse to have and what qualities are deal breakers. Her suggestion on finding good, strong role models and friends is wonderful. This led to a wonderful discussion on how they have excellent friends who share their same morals and values. This helped them realize mom was right when she said you have to be careful who you surround yourself with.  One area that we briefly talked about was knowing your limits. I loved that Abby brought this up! I think this is an important talk to have. I don't think young adults realize how quickly you can get caught up in the heat of the moment. We just didn't spend too much time on it since my kids are not really dating yet. The second video deals with the cost of having sex before marriage. The use of statistics is a sobering tool. I feel the straight facts help kids see what can really happen. I knew a few of them and had already talked about them with my kids. However, I was shocked by the increase in suicide for young adults that have sex before marriage. I love how she stresses every decision comes with a "price tag." It's scary how a decision you make at 16 can affect you for the rest of your life! So far we've only watched these 2 videos. I have been taking a slow approach with my kids. I want them to understand why purity is important. This is a topic I don't want to rush. In fact, this is a topic we will revisit over and over throughout the years. After watching the video together, we spend the next 2 weeks working through the workbook. Since we only received one workbook, I have had them creating their own notebook using the workbook as a guide. They just have to share the workbook. Having my kids work through the workbook independently allows them to figure out their own questions and concerns. Since they are opposite sexes, I know they may be embarrassed to ask or answer questions in front of one another. By scheduling one on one time with them, I'm hoping I am eliminating any issues they may have. I also look for ways to bring in our Catholic faith into the curriculum. We've talked about saints they have led an impure lifestyle and how they changed when they followed God. Having examples of saints to follow is a wonderful way to add to their list of positive role models. What Did We Think of Sex by Design?
The kids were not that thrilled at first. I understand though...talking about sex with your mom is not a fun a thing to do. I know I dreaded it when my mom talked to me. We've talked about purity and why it's important to wait until marriage, so this was not a new topic for them. I do feel that Abby and the videos provide a wonderful format and has provided us with information we hadn't discussed before. They know they can't date right now, but they understand why we need to talk about this before they actually start dating. I loved it! I love having an outline and a guide to follow. It helps this mama out a lot. I will say that I didn't preview the videos before watching the videos with my kids. In the future, I will preview them. In the second video, the topic of oral sex came up and I had never talked about this with my daughter. I was a little concerned at first, but thankfully the topic was dealt with in a non-descriptive way. I love how Abby is a living example of waiting to have sex until your married. She is a wonderful example of a virgin. Sadly in today's society this is a trait that is hard to find. Too often the role models are kids see are the exact opposite of pure. My only complaint is our slow internet. The videos would freeze while loading. We had to wait for the video to "catch up" every few seconds. I definitely recommend purchasing the DVD if you have crappy internet like us. I have been debating ordering the DVD's so we can finish the course without any more hassles. 

You can find out more about Abby and her Sex By Design curriculum on her Facebook page!

Stop by and see what the other members had to say about Sex By Design!

Till Next Time, Monique